In fact, research has shown that men and women not only have different communication styles, but they also use different parts of their brains when communicating.
From the most basic of biological design purpose, we are here to ensure the continuation of the human species:
The female body is designed to create, carry and nourish new life
The male body is designed to produce and deliver sperm, and protect and provide for their families
Obviously there’s more to us than that but my point here is that we are designed very differently for our basic “design” roles.
Every month it prepares itself to create life, and if that doesn’t happen, it has a nifty “reset” program that runs.
And if a woman does become pregnant, there’s a whole other program that automatically kicks into play.
We don’t have to “plan” the development of our baby …. “Hmmm, let’s see now … on Tuesday I’ll grow the lungs, Wednesday I can focus on the eyes… I’ve got that appointment Thursday so I’ll have to put off doing the liver until Friday”
It all happens UNCONSCIOUSLY, on automatic. Our bodies know what to do.
Personal development has been around for hundreds (maybe thousands?) of years. And back then, it was only men who were “allowed” to be involved in any form of science or medicine. It’s not good, it’s not bad, it just is.
But because of this, all of the theories around thoughts and self have stemmed from the male brain perspective. And the tools, processes, methods and modalities that then eventuated are generally more inclined to work better (as far as the results they achieve), in men.
Men can understand how hormones work but they will never know what it’s like to feel 50 different emotions in the space of 5 minutes … if they did, they wouldn’t call us “crazy” and for centuries (mis)diagnose us as having “female hysteria”.
So not only do females think differently because of how our brains function, we also have hormones because of how our body is designed. We are so very different on so many levels it literally is like we are speaking a different language. Yet we continue to use tools, processes, methods and modalities that are not designed for us. And when they “fail” as they more often than not do, we conclude that the problem must be with us … we don’t even consider that the problem is with the “tool” … because how could it be? … they were created by people who were held in high regard, and who am I to question them?
We compare ourselves against others who we incorrectly assume are doing so much better than us, based on the snippet of their lives that they allow us to see. Almost anyone can fake happiness and confidence for short amounts of time when they have to, and then fall apart behind closed doors … cry in the shower, yell at their partner or kids, drink, eat, say things to themselves that you would never say to another human being …
All because we’re using tools that are not designed for the job that we need it to perform.
We need a “program” built specifically for our “hardware”.
BUT... make sure it's not just something that's been re-hashed and called “female” yet still based on the "male perspective" foundational principles - the evidence of their results will tell you that (If the results are temporary, if your clients are triggered back into old sabotaging patterns, or have to continually cope, manage or convince themselves about things they've already "worked on", then the tool is male-brain based foundations.)
So the next time you go to berate yourself for not getting the results that others get from personal development, or get frustrated when one thing seems to work for one client and not the other, just take a step back and ask yourself …
back to home page... Home