Unravelling the Hormonal Mystery: Why Consistency Eludes Us
We’re told to set goals, plan your work and work your plan, and be consistent.
Now if you’ve ever followed any of this advice, you’ll know that it works quite well … until it doesn’t.
Females are, by nature, inconsistent, and it’s our hormones that have a lot to do with that.(Please note, that when I say “females” I mean the “female sex”, being anyone born with XX chromosomes and is running the program designed to operate a uterus, including all the hormones that go with that job.)
Have you ever noticed that there are times in the month when you are just on fire!
Everything you touch turns to gold
You’re taking actions and ticking stuff off the list like there’s no tomorrow
It’s like you're in this energised productivity zone and it feels fantastic!
And then, seemingly out of the blue ... ,
(but not really, because, let’s face it, it happens every month), your brain switches off and you can find yourself standing in the middle of a room wondering why you came in there.
There are days when you just love to be around people ... and then there are days when you want the whole world to just F off.
One day we’re fine with the chaos and mess and the next day we can burst into tears BECAUSE of the chaos and mess.
No wonder our partners can think we’re crazy … sometimes we feel crazy and it’s all because of our hormones.
But what does this have to do with the results your clients get (or don’t get)?
Setting goals and being consistent is a great model for men - they LOVE IT.
Men are naturally more spatially aware (this is to do with their brain function and also the M-ganglion retina cells in their eyes), and really thrive when they have a goal to focus in on …. It would have come in very handy back in the day when men had to hunt for food.
Women have more of the P-ganglion retina cells (focal cells) and studies have shown that we focus in more (10%-40% more than males when looking at faces) and this, combined with MRI scans also showing we have a more active brain when evaluating others, is what causes us to be able to read people’s faces and moods so well.
Some researchers say that this was to be able to read the cues given by our babies, and to also detect threatening, non-verbal cues from adults as a means of survival.
What this means though, is because we are so good at focusing, when we’re asked to focus on a goal, we can take it too far.
Have you ever found yourself or noticed one of your clients getting so caught up in the details that they end up becoming overwhelmed, sometimes giving up?
"Paralysis by Analysis" is not unique to women but it does seem to affect women more.
And then on the other end of the spectrum are women who get so focused on the “achieving” of the goal that they end up burning themselves out.
There are times in the month when we are able to focus and achieve more;
There are times when we want to be around people;
Times we don’t, and;
Times we need to do nothing
Often we don’t listen to our bodies and push through, which compounds over time and ultimately we end up overwhelmed, burnt out or sick because of it.
Regardless of what stage of life you’re in or even if you’ve had a hysterectomy, we all have a cycle ...
... it just may be more of a gentle wave rather than a roller-coaster (because our bodies are coded to run the system that has a uterus)
Her natural ups and downs, ebbs and flows need to be factored into any schedules that you set your clients, in that there needs to be flexibility and not a rigid plan that has to be adhered to at all costs.
And as much as we do explain that to our clients, remember that if they haven't addressed their doubts, fears and insecurities (especially around letting people down), they won’t “hear” what you say anyway.
Educating your clients so they understand and work with their cycle (instead of fighting against it), will mean they'll have a better chance of success, and will avoid the trap of going down the negative-head-talk rabbit hole that often makes them give up.